28/02/14 - Third Draft
On Monday 24th February, Jay and I met up to go through the script and tweak it. We both felt what was said was very good, however HOW it was said wasn't... So we spent about an hour or so going through the script and changing it until we felt it was much better. After looking at how it ended, we also felt that Jack wouldn't have a gun at this point because in this post apocalyptic world, supplies are running low (the lack of medical help is evidence of this). Due to this, we have changed the gun to a knife - we felt that using a tool like a hammer (while would look good onscreen) wouldn't fit the character as he wants to kill her in the most humane way possible.
This is the product of that day:
NOTE: I use a script-writing program called CELTX so on this blog post it may not look exactly right, but this is simply because it has not copied across correctly.
Below is a screenshot of the program being used and then a typed version of the script.
BLACK SCREEN
We hear the sound of heavy rain and the faint whisper of zombie-like moans.
Opening titles are shown for a number of seconds.
INT. GARAGE - DAYTIME, BUT RAINING
HANDHELD: MID SHOT - A LOT OF MOVEMENT
A door bursts open and two people stumble in - one seems to be bleeding quite badly from the neck.
JACK
FUCK!
As the door closes, we are plunged into darkness once again. Last of the opening titles are shown here. We hear the the sounds of JACK and ANNA stumbling around in the darkness.
JACK
Let me get the light...
POV: ANNA
ANNA is on her back, looking up at JACK. JACK is holding ANNA'S neck to try and stop the bleeding.
JACK
I'm just gonna go get... the first aid kit.
ANNA
Am I gonna be OK?
JACK
You're gonna be just fine.
JACK runs out of shot.
MID SHOT: JACK
JACK moves over to get the first aid kit out, ANNA is bleeding on the floor, out of focus in the b.g.
JACK tips the contents of the bag out onto the floor,
but then notices a rip in the bag (POV?). He looks increasingly more
worried as he looks through the contents and can't find the first aid kit.
LONG SHOT: JACK - ANNA IN THE FOREGROUND
JACK rushes back (ad lib?) The camera follows JACK as HE then bends down and presses his hand against the wound.
HOT-REVERSE-SHOT: FROM THE FLOOR,LOOKING UP AT JACK, FROM OVER JACK'S SHOULDER
JACK
(Starting to panic)
I... I can't find it.
ANNA
Gimme fucking morphine!
JACK
(panicking)
I... I can't! The bag ripped!
ANNA
(lets out a breath, while still clutching her wound)
I told you we shouldn't have gone down that alleyway...
(Laughs)
JACK
I know, I know, you were right... Like always.
ANNA
You realise that I'm gonna... erm... yanno... turn?
JACK
Yeah, I know.
ANNA
You're going to have t-
JACK
No, no, no, no, no... There's got to be another first aid kit around here.
(Starts to stand)
ANNA
(Stops him)
No! I want you here. Please Jack, please don't leave me! I don't want to die alone. I want-
JACK
(Getting more and more upset)
-But I'm not strong enough-
ANNA
-You are strong, you're going to have to be - for me.
JACK sits down and holds ANNA close to him.
JACK
I just want things to be how they were before.
ANNA
You and everyone else in the world.
(They share a laugh)
JACK
Now isn't the time for jokes.
ANNA
Now is the perfect time for jokes. There is no other time is there?
JACK
I love you.
(Slowly kisses her forehead)
CLOSE UP: JACK'S LIPS AND ANNA'S FOREHEAD AS HE KISSES IT.
OVER THE SHOULDER: JACK
Jack pulls away and it reveals that Anna has died.
CLOSE UP: JACK
A high pitched note is heard throughout the rest of
the scene. JACK panics and starts to hug and kiss ANNA as much as
possible, in the hope that she hasn't actually died.
MIX OF CLOSE UPS, RANGING FROM MEDIUM TO EXTREME (FROM MANY DIFFERENT ANGLES
JACK eventually gives up and starts crying and shouting/cursing.
CLOSE UP: ANNA
JACK is in focus in the foreground, while ANNA is out of focus in the background - she begins to slowly breathe again.
CLOSE UP: JACK
JACK notices and then the camera follows his hand, as
it slowly moves over to a knife that fell out of the bag. It then
follows the knife as he maneuvers itinto position just below her head. The camera then moves up to capture JACK's tearful expression as he stabs her head off frame.
BLACK SCREEN
The sound of the stab is heard.
Title: In Seclusion, We Find Safety
Title: Coming Soon
BLACK SCREEN
We hear the sound of rain from an outside source and
shouting voices from the same place (ad lib. "I knew that was a bad
idea", "we're almost there" etc.)
Opening titles are shown for a number of seconds
INT. GARAGE - LIGHT OUT, BUT RAINING
A door bursts open from the other side of the room
and two people stumble in - one seems to be bleeding quite badly from
the neck.
As the door closes, we are plunged into darkness once again. Last of the opening titles are shown here.
JACK
Let me get the light.
POV: ANNA
ANNA is on her back, looking up at JACK. JACK is holding ANNA'S neck to try and stop the bleeding.
ANNA
Am I going to be OK?
JACK
You're going to be just fine. I'm just gonna go get the first aid kit.
JACK runs out of shot.
MID SHOT: JACK
JACK moves to a table to get the first aid kit out, ANNA is bleeding on the floor, out of focus in the b.g.
JACK looks extremely worried when he gets the first
aid kit out and rummages through it - the camera follows his eyes down
to see that they only have plasters and a couple of
syringes left in there.
LONG SHOT: JACK - ANNA IN THE FOREGROUND
JACK rushes back - ad lib: "It's OK baby", "I'm back,
don't worry" etc. The camera tracks JACK as HE then bends down and
presses his hand against the wound.
SHOT-REVERSE-SHOT: FROM THE FLOOR, LOOKING UP AT JACK, FROM OVER JACK'S SHOULDER
JACK
(Starting to get upset)
Babe, we only have plasters and the last of the morphine...
ANNA
Gimme the morphine.
JACK
OK.
CLOSE UP OF ANNA'S LEG
JACK injects ANNA with the syringe.
SHOT-REVERSE-SHOT: FROM THE FLOOR, LOOKING UP AT JACK, FROM OVER JACK'S SHOULDER
ANNA
I told you we shouldn't have gone down that alleyway...
(Laughs)
JACK
I know baby, you were right... Like always.
ANNA
You realise that I'm going to turn?
JACK
Yeah, I know.
ANNA
Then you know what you're gonna have to do.
JACK
(Pauses as it dawns on him that he will have to shoot his girlfriend in the head)
No, no, no, no, no... There's got to be another first aid kit around here.
(Starts to stand)
ANNA
(Stops him)
No! I want you here. I'm done with this. All I want is to end it all, with you holding me.
JACK
(Getting more and more upset)
But... I'm not strong enough... To finish it off.
ANNA
You're strong babe, you're going to have to be.
JACK sits down and holds ANNA close to him.
JACK
I just want things to be how they were before.
ANNA
You and everyone else in the world.
(They share a laugh)
JACK
Now isn't the time for jokes.
ANNA
Now is the perfect time for jokes honey, when will we have anymore?
JACK
I love the way you can even have a joke as you're...
(Pause)
I love you.
(Slowly kisses her forehead)
CLOSE UP: JACK'S LIPS AND ANNA'S FOREHEAD AS HE KISSES IT
OVER THE SHOULDER: JACK
Jack pulls away and it reveals that Anna has died.
CLOSE UP: JACK
A high pitched note is heard throughout the rest of
the scene. JACK panics and starts to hug and kiss ANNA as much as
possible to make sure she is dead/alive.
MIX OF CLOSE UPS, RANGING FROM MEDIUM TO EXTREME (FROM MANY DIFFERENT ANGLES)
JACK eventually gives up and starts crying and shouting/cursing.
HIGH ANGLE: JACK
JACK falls to the floor in despair. The camera tracks his hand as one is placed on ANNA'S shoulder.
CLOSE UP: ANNA
ANNA begins to slowly breathe again.
CLOSE UP: JACK
JACK notices and then the camera tracks his hand, as
it moves back to get a gun from his pocket. He points the gun at ANNA'S
head.
POV: JACK
There is a focus pull from the gun to ANNA'S head.
ANNA begins to open her eyes.
CUT
BLACK SCREEN
A gunshot is heard.
Title: In Seclusion, We Find Safety
Title: Coming Soon
25/11/13 - First Draft
BLACK SCREEN
We hear the sound of rain from an outside source and shouting voices from the same place (ad lib. "I knew that was a bad idea", "we're almost there" etc.)
Opening titles are shown for a number of seconds
INT. GARAGE - LIGHT OUT, BUT RAINING
A door bursts open from the other side of the room and two people stumble in - one seems to be bleeding quite badly from the neck.
As the door closes, we are plunged into darkness once again. Last of the opening titles are shown here.
JACK
Let me get the light here.
POV: ANNA
ANNA is on her back, looking up at JACK. JACK is holding ANNA'S neck to try and stop the bleeding.
ANNA
(Weakly)
Does it look bad? Am I going to be OK?
JACK
Shush Anna, you're going to be just fine now you hear me? Now, just put your hand here and hold that for me while I go get the first aid kit.
JACK moves her hand and then runs out of shot.
MID SHOT: JACK
JACK moves to a table to get the first aid kit out, ANNA is bleeding on the floor, out of focus in the b.g.
JACK looks extremely worried when he gets the first aid kit out and rummages through it - the camera follows his eyes down to see that they only have plasters, a few pills and a couple of syringes left in there.
LONG SHOT: JACK - ANNA IN THE FOREGROUND
JACK rushes back - ad lib: "It's OK baby", "I'm back, don't worry" etc. The camera tracks JACK as HE then bends down and presses his hand against the wound.
SHOT-REVERSE-SHOT: FROM THE FLOOR, LOOKING UP AT JACK, FROM OVER JACK'S SHOULDER
JACK
(Starting to get upset)
Baby, we only have plasters and the last of the pills and syringes...
Do you want a jab?
ANNA
(Swallows and struggles a little with her words, due to shortness of breath)
That would help a lot.
JACK
OK
EXTREME CLOSE UP ON ANNA'S LEG
JACK injects ANNA with the syringe.
SHOT-REVERSE-SHOT: FROM THE FLOOR, LOOKING UP AT JACK, FROM OVER JACK'S SHOULDER
ANNA
I told you we shouldn't have gone down that alleyway...
(Laughs)
JACK
I know baby, you were right... Like always, you were right.
ANNA
You know that I'm going to turn... Right?
JACK
Yeah, I know baby...
ANNA
Then you know what I want you to do as soon as I do right?
JACK
(Pauses as it dawns on him that he will have to shoot his girlfriend in the head)
No, no, no, no, no... I can fix you, I can get help, there has to be another first aid kit around here somewhere!
(Starts to stand)
ANNA
(Stops him)
No! I want you here. I'm done, with all of this. All I want, is for my last moments to be shared with the person I love most in this world.
JACK
(Getting more and more upset)
But... I'm not sure if I'm strong enough.. To do, what I need to after that.
ANNA
You're strong baby, you're going to have to be.
JACK sits down and holds ANNA close to him.
JACK
I just want things to be the way they were...
ANNA
You and everyone else still alive in this world.
(They share a laugh)
JACK
Now isn't the time for jokes now is it?
ANNA
Now is the perfect time for jokes honey, when will we have anymore?
JACK
I love the way you can even have a joke as you're...
(Pause)
I love you.
(Slowly kisses her forehead)
EXTREME CLOSE UP: JACK'S LIPS AND ANNA'S FOREHEAD AS HE KISSES IT.
OVER THE SHOULDER: JACK
Jack pulls away and it reveals that Anna has died.
BIG CLOSE UP: JACK
A high pitched note is heard throughout the rest of the scene. JACK panics and starts to hug and kiss ANNA as much as possible to make sure she is dead/alive.
CLOSE UPS: RANGING FROM MEDIUM, TO EXTREME (FROM MANY DIFFERENT ANGLES)
JACK eventually gives up and starts crying and shouting/cursing.
HIGH ANGLE: JACK
JACK falls to the floor in despair. The camera tracks his hand as one is placed on ANNA'S shoulder.
CLOSE UP: ANNA
ANNA begins to slowly breathe again.
CLOSE UP: JACK
JACK notices and then the camera tracks his hand, as it moves back to get a gun from his pocket. He points the gun at ANNA'S head.
POV: JACK
There is a focus pull from the gun to ANNA'S head.
ANNA begins to open her eyes.
CUT TO BLACK
BLACK SCREEN
A gunshot is heard.
Roll ending credits.
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